WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?
by Jen

Poet:
Why can't we be friends?
Yo, why the fuck did Burr cancel open mike night?
Why can't we be friends?

Burr:
You try your best to push me into the mud
Has anyone ever told you you're a spic Elmer Fudd?

Guerra:
Why can't we be friends?
Why'd that midget bite me when I asked if he knew Tattoo?
Why can't we be friends?

Morales:
You got that weird mouth and a temple that loves to throb
Now all you need is spinach and a pipe of corncob

Zanghi:
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't I be on the Sopranos?
Why can't we be friends?

Pancamo:
I buddy up with you Morales, cause Burr belongs on a 'Nam *M*A*S*H*
But if you fuck me over, I'll tell all the mooks you named your mustache

Tug:
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't I have a pulse?
Why can't we be friends?

Supreme Allah:
Homeboys gunnin' for me, spics and wops pretend they don't want me hurt
Truth is, I'll take 'em all out long as I don't become another damn redshirt

Vayhue:
Why can't we be friends?
Don't come near me with that cello!
Why can't we be friends?

Hill:
Yo, I'd kinda like to go back to bein' the wise wheelchair black
Anything but more goddamn days with a target on my back

Colonel:
Why can't we be friends?
Why do people blame me for Carter's stabbing?
Why can't we be friends?

Gang Extras:
Some say, "why don't you talk every once in a while?"
But look at Vasquez, he spoke and he got a second smile

Giles:
Friends, friends
Peter, Peter Marie
Peter Marie! Friends

Alvarez:
Couldn't handle reportin' to Glynn, kicked me like a fuckin' cat
Now I don't do nothing but jack off and fingerpaint with scat

All: Why can't we be friends?
Why can't the chorus ever end?
Why can't be friends?
Why can't be friends?