Title: God's Dreams: Sleeping in the First Few Hours.
Author: Tobi (thrust_harder) meet me here.
Rating: R
Summary: Part one. I decided to make a Flash Fiction challenge from hardtime100 from June about a dream I had. It's Season 3, right before the shanking of Beecher and Schillinger in the gym. Sorry but in my little world, no shanking and no lockdown at the end of the season. Everything will be explained.
Warnings: This one discusses religion a little, try not to be offended.
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Even the T.V. was boring. Everything was so boring and so slow all the time. If something ever happened it was always bad or dangerous. Although he sometimes craved danger it was just to risky now that Toby was finally coming around. Bonnie was getting boring, Angie and Kitty got boring ALONG time ago. Toby was never boring but Toby was never around. The little blonde was always prancing around everywhere with that righteous son of a bitch whom we shall call Satan. Oh wait, it's Said. Chris tried so hard to fight the envy but it just wasn't fair! Chris knew he couldn't give Toby the intellectual satisfaction he craved but wanted to so bad. Chris hated that Said got a piece of Toby that Chris could never understand. Dam Satan. Still, if Said was Satan Then he didn't even want to think what HE was. He hated it when Toby made him think. Chris could be Samiel. Yea, that sounds good. Through all the religious bullshit, that was the only thing Toby blabbed about that Chris had remembered and actually enjoyed learning. Toby had said Samiel was the name of Lucifer, before he turned his back on god........or whatever.
Chris wondered if He had turned his back on god. No he supposed it was the other way around. Yea, he was sure God was still sleeping after all that shit with Noah. See, Chris knows the truth. God wanted to get rid of all the people on earth but he needed help with keeping those innocent little animals alive. He made Noah build that Arc and then promised Noah that the few passengers could repopulate the earth. God knew that wouldn't work. God said, "Fuck the earth, humans will just destroy it, so I'll just destroy them. I like the animals though, lets keep them. I don't have the energy to create them all over again." God chose Noah cuz he was a drunk and he deserved it anyway right? Then God fell asleep and hasn't woken up since. Poor God, he didn't expect that Noah would actually pull off the whole incest repopulation thing. Maybe that's why we're all so fucked up. We're all oddly related. Some just closer than others. Like cousins or brothers.
Chris bet God dreamed though, that's why all the tornados keep happening and people keep dying. God is having nightmares. Chris wondered what happens when God has wet dreams. Chris laughed at himself. Dam Toby. How did he make him think like this? Dam boring T.V. Mrs. Sally is starting to get old. Like an old issue of Hustler. When dose the news come on?
"In an amazing arrest, Maniac Matilda was found today, near her home."
Chris squinted his eyes as the news cast cut to some snowy footage. It showed a dirty, young girl in handcuffs being dragged down some apartment stairway. She was so thin and pale. She had black, chopped hair covering her face and was dressed in a torn white lace dress that looked so familiar. Maybe Kitty had wore one like it once.
"We have received reports that tell us she has already plead guilty to the serial murders and only has her sentencing trial to await."
Chris wondered if Toby was watching, he always loved this trial stuff. He loved to yell out legal mumbo jumbo when some lawyer or judge said something stupid. Chris turned to look around and was surprised to brush up against his little blonde seated comfortably next to him. God that made him feel good. Toby was real close too, like they were watching a movie together. They had been talking lately but Toby hadn't agreeably been this close to him since the laundry room. Was this a signal? Chris decided to make a little risk and do something they hadn't done in a while. He made his move and he could see Toby's mouth twitch into a smile. Yes! He's letting him do it. oh, this was perfect.
Besides kissing, Chris loved most when they could play a little footsie while watching T.V. Chris remembered before the whole arms legs thing when they would get bored of reading to each other or talking, playing chess, even wrestling, they would snuggle up in front of the T.V. and shamelessly play with each others limbs. It always started off really subtle. Chris would place his left foot slowly behind Toby's right and then move the tip of his shoe softly up and down Toby's ankle. If Toby was in the mood, he'd rub back. After a little friction Chris would scoot a little closer and place his left knee right under Toby's right. It fit so perfectly, it almost felt like they were Legos that could click on top of each other. It was just so warm and tingly, like a first kiss or fast elevator ride. Soon Toby's leg would be resting heavily on Chris's thigh and they would be holding hands under each others shirt folds. The hacks would stay a close watch now and then but nothing big until they saw hands moving. Chris knew to keep his hands still, he'd rather play with Toby's leg anyway.
Chris wasn't sure what this ment. They were in full cuddle mode now and he could feel Toby's full body weight relaxed next to his. He could also feel Toby's nimble thumb rubbing slowly against his own as their fingers were comfortably intwined. Just yesterday he had told him to `take his fucking hand away' and now Chris could smell his blonde curls and feel his warm blood flow through his hand and leg.
Isn't it weird how, only when your comfortable and happy, God decides to have another nightmare.
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"That's Bullshit!!" Toby was in full lawyer mode now. He was giving a few facts every few minutes but the decision of Maniac Matilda's fate sent him over. It really sent everyone over. Just about every guy in Emerald City cheered and whistled as the verdict for Matilda's sentence was reported. For the past few days every guy in emerald city sat or stood huddled around the screen. This was the longest Mrs. Sally hadn't been watched by any of them and Cyril was getting huffy about it. Everyone is Oz was freaking out. A couple of days ago the prosecuting lawyer had filed a motion to force Matilda to be sent to the men's ward of the prison she was being sent to. Right away, Chris was interested and bewildered at the same time. The prosecutor had some legit background story for the judge and all of America was set on making Matilda's sentence as painful as possible. So, It was settled. Matilda had enough disrespecting attitude and absolutely no remorse to convince the judge to send her on her way. She's supposed to arrive Monday, She will spend 52 consecutive life sentences in the men's ward at Oswald Penitentiary.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!?" McManus had been pacing Glyn's office for a few minutes now, yelling the same phrase over and over again.
"Tim, You need to calm down here. I need your head functional right now." Glyn sounded so calm, Tim wondered if he even cared about any of this. Of course he didn't. It wasn't his grass that was getting shit on.
"Fuck! how am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to control any of them now!?"
"You act as though you ever could."
Tim gave his superior a hard look at the failing joke.
"My hands are fucking tied Tim, The Judge said that because Matilda was technically born male it is state law she has to serve her time in the men's quarter! It's happened before....a few times."
"That's bullshit! You know she's not any fucking transsexual like past cases. She actually WAS born female. They did fucking tests to prove it but nobody cares!! Her half ass HMO doctor makes a mistake at her birth and now I got a big fucking problem on my hands!"
"She killed a cop! They want to make it as hard for her as they can! He had kids. They said the rape kit on her showed so much trauma and damage the doctors could barely tell she was originally a woman anyway. Like, she had surgery or something. She plead guilty and doesn't care where she goes. She's dead Tim, in everyone's eyes, even her own. America doesn't give a shit what happens to her. why do you?"
"It's not right. Aren't we supposed to be obsessed with doing the right thing? How the hell am I supposed to protect her from all the horny fucking convicts she'll share this humble home with?"
"To tell you the truth we shouldn't be too worried about that. Jesus Tim! She killed 52 men, she castrated each one of them and fed the body parts to her dogs. She can probably take care of herself."
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"C'mon Toby, don't be like that. I know your mad but don't take your hand away like I'm some fucking rapist"
"Fuck, Keller I know."
Toby softly took Christopher's hand once again in his palm and tried to take a deep breath.
"Doesn't it feel better to hold my hand anyway?"
"Yea...."
"Dose that mean you forgi.."
"KELLER! BEECHER! Off each other please"
Keller wondered why god kept interrupting these good moments, oh wait, that was Murphy. Keller glanced up through the bedframe and to where Murphy was standing in Toby's pod doorway. Toby quickly retracted his hand again and scooted back inside himself as he sat cross-legged on the infamous bottom bunk. Keller sat up from the squeaky mattress and headed toward the sink.
"Thank you boys."
There were a few moments of silence until that mattress squeaked again and Toby's hand rested softly on Chris's neck.
"C'mon lets go watch some T.V."
Keller smiled, he figured it was better than nothing.
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Keller couldn't stop wondering why that one strip of news footage reminded him so much of something.......something of his past or himself or one of his wives? Shit it was pissing him off. What the hell was it?
"....it is once again this newscaster's pleasure to announce that Maniac Matilda will serve 52 consecutive life sentences in a state penitentiary. Many will be able to sleep easier tonight and many of the victims families have found resolution in her conviction. Another thing I am proud to announce is the actual name of the serial killer. The police officials had found it wise to keep her family name under wraps for protection but not everything can be kept from the press."
The anchor man gave an odd wink that made Chris very uncomfortable. What the fuck did it matter her real name? Just more pain for th..
"This vicious woman, now behind bars was born Hannah Matilda Keller.."
"FUCK!"
The steel chair flew about 3 feet. He stood up way too fast and doubled over as he screamed the vulgarity. Christopher couldn't stand or feel any blood in his legs. He fell to his thighs hard. He heard a few shouts or something near it. He could sense Toby's hands somewhere on his body but everything was so blurry and hot. His lungs were going to explode, he knew it. He felt cold marble floor on his forehead. The memories, they all came back way too fast, the cold blue rain, the smell of liquor on her red lipstick and the ripped cigarette in her panties. Oh, god no, she told him it was ok, oh, she lied to him. Everything went black, the lights went out.
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Keller woke up to metal clanking and the smell of talcum in his nose. There was a few too much sunlight in here, must be the hospital ward. Yea, here comes Gloria.
"Morning Keller it's nice to see you up so soon, you gave us a little scare there."
"What happened? Shit. Never mind."
Keller took a minute to remember every horrible detail over again and rub his temple accordingly.
"You remember? Yea, you took a nasty fall out there."
"Nothing a nice old cup O' soup wont fix, eh?"
Keller hated sounding fine when his heart was breaking.
"Keller, we know this was a massive anxiety attack, some inmates, including Tobias told me about that girl on the news, he last name is Keller and she's coming here right? I wont ask but maybe a visit to Sister Pete will help"
"Oh yea, sure that'll help"
"Keller, I just don't want them to bring you in on a Gurney again, it was difficult to stabilize your breathing this time, I don't know what will happen the next."
"Sure...."
Great, it's McManus' turn now.
"Excuse me Gloria, mind if I talk to the drama queen alone for a minute?"
"Sure Tim."
Gloria sort of hushed away with a little smile for Chris. Man, She always made him feel warm. SHE never seemed to judge him, just smiled and made him feel better. Oh, no he was beginning to feel like an O'Riley.
"So, Keller. We had a bit of an episode today didn't we?"
"Sure, why not."
Tim sat heavily down and examined the disheveled man before him.
"You look like shit."
"Well, I do try."
"You know, I know."
"Yea.."
"You just found out? You didn't know it was her?"
"Nope."
"I'm sorry......it must be hard."
"Sure, why not."
Keller was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
"Calm down, let's not start that again."
"Do you want to be her sponsor? She'll be in her own pod but I figure she should see you first."
"Why? Dose SHE know."
"I had them tell her. They showed her mug shots and files. She was confused at first but then they played her the recording of your confession. She says she remembers your voice. Of all things."
"My voice?"
That didn't make sense...
"Yea, let me be her sponsor"
"There is something else, you know, with her stepfather."
Keller took in a labored breath at the memories of the anchor man telling everything the stepfather had done to her. Fuck she was only 6 years old. How could he do that to her? Keller should have known, he should have done something for her. He's shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
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There was no more saunter in his walk. His steps were slow and well thought. Passing through those bars to meet all the gazes was hard enough but to meet Toby's worried eyes almost sent him over. How the hell was he going to explain this?
"....I don't understand...."
"WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND!?"
"Keller..."
"Toby, stop calling me that dammit."
"Christopher.....it's not your fault"
"Yea toby, yea it is. What that fuck did to her.......you don't even know the half, they couldn't say, those news people fucks, they made her sound so bad, but she's just dead and.............wanted company."
"Please don't do this to yourself..."
"Dammit Tobe................he...he..........he fucked her. Oh my god, she was only 6 when it started, he cut her inside..."
Chris held on to his stomach as though he felt ill. He was sobbing now, not caring who the fuck saw, just letting the tears scream out.
"He stuck crayons inside her becuase she was too little for him.....she was so small Tobey, she was so small. She had her little pink dress for school and he did that to her everyday. He cut her and beat her and wouldn't let her eat, he kept sticking things inside her Tobey. WHY DID HE DO THAT1?? But she killed him Tobe, she did it and she liked it and she cried over it and she died inside when she was six and I let it happen. I let it fucking happen. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."
Chris was rocking now and forcing his hands over his forehead and through his hair.
"What the fuck am I gonna do Toby? If I was in here for 88 or 88,000 fucking years it never hurt nobody too bad, but it hurt her. Fuck it hurt her so much, I could'a been there Tobe! I could'a stopped it! I would of fucking slit his throat and taken her away!"
Toby couldn't help crying at this sight, this strong man he always looked too, curled up on the edge of his bunk shaking from his shattered life and the lives he shattered.
"Please, Chirs..." Toby's voice was breaking behind his aching throat and falling tears.
"OH MY GOD!!!"
Toby knew if Chris didn't stop screaming and crying the hacks would come and things would get worse.
"Chris baby don't, oh, please.......LET ME HOLD YOU PLEASE....."
Keller curled into Toby's embrace and let the smaller man support him. Chris sobbed and screamed into Toby's shoulder. He screamed over and over again the same haunting realization that Toby was sure all of Oz could hear.
"I LET HIM HURT HER!! I LET HIM HURT MY BABY! OH MY GOD!! SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!"
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[ Note from author: take a few moments to let this fun new info sink in *takes a deep breath* ok let us move on. ]
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She's playing with a few paper lint things she found on the old table and waiting for him. He looked very big in those photos and she figured they were lying to her when they told her what to call him
Daddy? Dose that fit? She never had much to call someone that before.
She figured they were lying but then she heard his voice and it was him, it was that song he used to sing. She doesn't remember seeing him though and she knows he never held her or kissed her but that voice gave her electricity through her spine and clouds in her eyes. It was nice.
She wishes she could remember him. She can hum the song though. It was always her song cuz he gave it to her. He didn't even know he did.
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Step by step. It was taking too long to get to her. Step by step. Was the hallway always this long?. Step by step. What if she hits me or starts crying? Step by step. This fucking hack is way too slow in his walk. A few days to think things over but not enough to prepare. Nothing could prepare him. There, oh my god, she's beautiful. She's mine.
The hack didn't even get to introduce them. Chris grabbed her like she was in the middle of traffic. He buried his head in her hair and held on tight. His eyes began to water and he started kissing her everywhere he could reach, her cheeks, her head her arms, her hands, she was in his arms now and he would die before anyone would ever hurt her. She was crying and so confused and happy and scared and pissed off but she wanted to hug him forever.
The hack finally got them to walk back and Chris held onto the back of her shirt tightly, he couldn't let her go, this was his job now, he had to protect her.
All eyes on him again, All eyes on her and then some. Some were diverted as Chris stared back, he could see the look in all of their eyes. He could feel the hunger but they could feel his potential shank in their gut.
She did get her own pod and she seemed a little excited.
"My own room? Wow."
Chris smiled a little at her joy but it pained him to think where she used to sleep.
"Hannah?...."
They sat comfortably in the pod now, on her new bed with softer sheets, that he knew the prison usually didn't give out. She sat a little far away so Chris scooted in to show he wouldn't ever leave her.
"Yes, daddy?"
Oh, no....he didn't expect that.
"You know how they say a mother bonds with her baby a few seconds after it born, after they first meet. It's like the only proven love at first sight thing....well, I love you.."
"You promise?"
"Yes."
"That's very good. I want a daddy. I'm 17 and I've never had one. Maybe it's time to have one."
"I love you."
"You already said that."
"I forgot."
"Don't leave me daddy."
"I wont. Never, never, never."
"I love you too."
"Don't ever leave me Hannah."
"Never never never."
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Shit, Toby didn't like waiting like this. He hated staring through the pod, seeing their lips move and not knowing what they were talking about. He really wanted to be a part of this but it was too delicate and Chris was way too sensitive. He better just keep his distance and wait for Chris to come to him. The card game was getting boring and O'Riley was getting annoyed by Toby's distracted eyes.
"Fuck Beecher are you in or out?"
Toby just stared at his cards.
"BEECHER!"
"Yea?"
"Fuck man just go in there, you want to, so bad, right?"
"I don't know.......no I cant it's none of my business."
"Bull fucking shit, anything to do with Keller is yours and anything to do with YOU is his. Shit, man, if Gary or Holly ever went through that and you barely knew them, which we know you don't, wouldn't you want HIM to be there? To make sure you weren't alone in it. He fucking needs you, I know the man, he's a lot more fragile than most think. Fuck man it's family ties and shit. You gotta look after your own......"
Ryan took a few moments to glance at Cyril, who was playing dubiously with the ends of his t-shirt.
Toby noticed that sad glance but tried not to recognize it. He knew how insecure Ryan could be about his own troubles.
"Jeeze, O'Riley thanks for the after school special."
"Fine, make him resent you, I don't give a shit."
O'Riley heard his own speech in his head and furrowed his eyebrows.
::Shit Gloria how do speak for me like that?:::
O'Riley dropped his cards on the table and dragged Cyril up with him.
"Whatever beech, we got lunch to do. C'mon little bro."
Cyril gave a grin and waved toward Tobias.
"Bye, Toby."
"Later Cyril."
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"Really? It's for me?"
"Yea! I got it from a friend yesterday in the mail. Made him get it for you"
Hannah let the fluffy ears of the bunny squish softly through her fingers. She examined the pink nose and plush paws. He was pure white and the first toy anyone had ever given her. She liked his tail the best. It felt like a cloud. She couldn't believe he was velveteen, he must have been expensive.
"He's velveteen, he must have been expensive."
"It's not like I use the little money I have in here anyway."
"It's mine? I love it."
"It reminds me of you. It's perfect. It's beautiful. It's everything I've ever needed to be happy."
"You need a bunny to be happy?"
"Well, maybe that last part was just about you, but a bunny dose seem to make anyone happy. Sure."
"I never had a toy before..I never had a daddy neither."
"You don't want the bunny? You don't want a daddy?"
"No! It's just good that someone finally gave me both of them. I'm still a little scared of you though."
"I'm scared of myself. I love you."
"You keep saying that."
"I always will"
"Do you usually say that to people?"
"No, not really except Tob.."
Shit, what would she think? Would she call him a faggot or laugh or get mad that he wasn't with her mom? What about her mom? Is she ok?
"Who?"
Chris looked outside the glass pod, over to Beecher who was staring intently inside anyway but turned away fast when he was caught. Chris could see him blush a little and gave a laugh.
"What's his name?"
Chris turned back to her questioning expression and hesitated.
"Toby or Tobias Beecher. I love him."
Hannah giggled and held the bunny close to her mouth.
"So, like do I call him PAPA or something?"
Chris smiled at the sarcastic tone in her voice but actually, he kinda liked that idea.
"Actually he might like that but don't do it front of everyone until a little while, he might not want to be known as a mother yet."
They both laughed and stared back at Toby who was trying hard to not seem so obvious.
"Surprise him with that, I love when he blushes."
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Toby could feel his cheeks growing redder by the second. He cant believe he was caught and now he felt so stupid. He shouldn't have been looking over to them and now he probably pissed Chris off or made him uncomfortable. He tried to sit still and focus on the mute show he could see from his seat. The brothers had gone and now there wasn't anyone to really talk to. He began to wonder who Hannah's mother was. It couldn't have been any of Chris' wives because they are still alive. Toby wondered if Chris loved this woman and they were planning to have a child and a happy ending life. Something bad must have happened. Something so bad, Chris could never tell Toby about it without breaking down or something.
"Tobe..."
Beecher shot around to see Chris standing strong with a smile.
"C'mon..."
Chris led Toby from his squeaky chair to Hannah's pod. Toby was so nervous and happy at the same time. He didn't expect to get this close so soon. It was like meeting his new mother in law.............or his new daughter? Wow that was weird.
"Hi..."
Hannah sort of twitched on the mattress and held her new bunny close to her chest.
"My name is Toby."
Hannah didn't really answer, just stared intently at him. This made Toby realy nervous and he looked at Chris for some support. Chris just smiled and looked from him to Hannah.
"C'mon baby say something to him..."
"Hannah looked over to the pod door with a blank stare and put her hand out to feel the air."
"He's in the room?? PAPA? Where are you?? PAPA!?"
Father and daughter couldn't hold back from laughing and Toby could feel his cheeks growing bright again.
"...that wasn't funny."
Toby tried to sound serious but his smile gave him away.
"Well, aren't we an interesting family." laughed Chris.
Hannah smiled and stood up to hug Toby.
Toby was a little nervous but when she laughed, he was happily surprised to see the same flash of white teeth and sun bright smile as her father. In fact, she looked a whole lot like him. She was pretty tall and had a very long form. She had small wrists but acutely wide hands and lean thighs. She even had his deep blue eyes and coarse dark hair. Her blue wife beater showed off the same block torso and broad shoulders. She even had a hint of that hawk like nose Christopher loved to bury in Toby's cheeks. The only big difference was her lips. She had these big red soft lips that protruded from the white pearls in her mouth. Her skin was a lot lighter too, it reminded him of whip cream. Toby had to admit she was probably the most beautiful girl he had seen in a while, probably prettier than Gen....
The three talked for a while and helped explain each other. Keller barely interacted and just let Hannah and Toby go on conversation binges for now. Beecher wasn't surprised to see Chris watching most of the time. Toby wondered how any of this was going to work. It was such a dysfunctional situation it could never pan out. It seemed so hopeless yet he knew he at least had to try. He was only afraid Keller might give up too soon.
Keller happily moved back into Beecher's pod with a suggestion from McManus actually. Tim had supposed it would be better if Chris was closer to his daughter, given the odd circumstances and the fact that her pod was right next to Toby's. He had also noticed the sweet little cuddling moments going on between the two and hoped it would bring a little more peace to the cage. Keller was MORE than happy to move back in and next to hannah, he only hoped the hacks wouldn't fuck with her. He was sure they were pissed over the dead cop and wanted to do something for penance but maybe they would pity her for her trauma or maybe they would just be hacks and not give a fuck. Chris knew Murphy would behave but he might be off duty in a couple of nights or something weird like that might happen to his disadvantage. God's dreams always gave him that sort of heartbreaking disadvantage.
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Toby had no idea Chris' tongue was so fucking soft and strong. He had barely enough to look back upon from the laundry room. Now he had kissed Chris long enough and hard enough to remember it forever. It had to be the sweetest make out session he had ever experienced because he didn't need to think about what sort of activities they might engage in after the kissing, just the kissing itself. Chris kept his hands softly and comfortably on Toby's hips and lay lazily next him in their tiny corner of Toby's thin mattress. Chris took all of his sheets, blankets and pillow off his own bed to form a sort of fluffy comfort zone around them, almost like a force field to protect them. Pillows surround their bodies and sheets twisted and turned around their limbs. They kissed languidly and softly but with a hint of strong need that flowed evenly throughout the night. The two spent an even amount of time nipping and munching on each other enough to send them in a parallel sleep that left the ruffled and wrapped in each others hair, hands and bed sheets.
Beecher's eyes began to sift open as he swore he heard muffled sobs or someone trying to breathe. He looked down to see Chris sleeping soundly and wrapped around his chest. Toby didn't think it was Chris, it seemed too light. The sobbing suddenly stopped and Toby figured maybe he hadn't heard anything.
"NOOOO!!"
The scream made both men shoot up from the bed as there was quite a feminine touch to it. The lights shot on and at least three hacks went running by. Chris already knew and shot up from the bed. He pressed both his hands on the wet glass of their pod and tried hard to look to see if Hannah was alright. The screaming continued and It just made Chris twitch and pace more. He knew they were doing something to her he could feel it. He could hear her moving and kicking and trying to breathe.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no.........you said you weren't gonna leave me. You promised. You said you never would. Don't fucking do this. Shit. Shit."
Toby just sat in the unmade bed stone and afraid, not sure weather to jump up and comfort him or leave him alone. He didn't know how to deal with this.
"COME ON!!"
Chris was freaking out now and pressing his face as hard against the glass as he could without breaking his nose. He saw a mass of hacks and ...........Gloria hurdling out of Hannah's pod carrying something....then he saw the little fluff of white fall to the cold ground and the little bunny was now alone on silent floor with smudges of red on his whiskers and cheeks. God must be dying inside his nightmare. The lights went out.
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TBC - MUWAHAHAHA!! Feedback please - here. Maybe part two will be written faster. :D