The (abbreviated) Saga of Chris and Toby

by Lisa H

This was written for my friend Ali to make up for me whining on his shoulder.
When originally posted, it said "to be continued" at the end, as I knew at the time I wrote it that Chris Meloni would be returning to Oz. I truly had every intention of writing a part two,but because of my bitter resentment over the way thislittle saga ended, that ain't happenin'.

The (abbreviated) Saga of Chris and Toby
(Sung to the tune of the theme song from 'The Beverly Hillbillies')

Let me tell you a story 'bout a man named Chris
A repeat offender now armed with just a kiss
He showed up in Oz, there to serve his time
When Vern recruited him to mess with someone's mind...

Toby's, it was...little crazy, liked to rhyme.

Well, the next thing you know poor Chris was in too deep
He fell in love with Toby, and the stakes got really steep
He wanted to make it up to him, "fuck you, ya fuck" he quipped
Then Toby called the shots - Chris was totally whipped...

Horny he was...groped Toby, shanked Vern.

On to season four where the boys have had some time
In lockdown for two weeks, they surely blew each other's...minds
Then Chris called Toby bitch, didn't duck and got shot
When he was recovered, things were totally hot...
Steamy it was...wound kissing, nape touching.

The next thing you know everything was turned to shit
Little Gary's dead and Toby blamed poor Chris for it
Chris said he didn't care, but we all knew that he lied
Toby got slutty and Browne and Sheiman died...

Gruesome it was...Ryan helped, blamed Supreme.

Soon the boys were talking, fucking with each other
Chris said it was cuz they still loved one another
Chris thought bro' was cute and wondered if he'd fuck
Toby gave Ronnie a bj deluxe...

Jealous Chris pissed, mooned Toby.

The next thing you know Ronnie'd talked to a fed
Toby ran to Chris and now poor Ronnie's dead
Vern was after Toby, Chris saved Toby's life
Their last time together, well, it cut like a knife...

To the heart, that is...bittersweet, one last kiss.


Please send feedback to Lisa H.