by Adriana B.

Title: Aftertaste
Author: Adriana B.
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimers: all of them belong to Tom Fontana, and I envy him for that! Archived: wherever you want, just tell me, please Feedback: here or privately ( Summary: Beecher watched Keller being blown by Cramer (if you're arriving now it'd happened here: Well, Keller saw Beecher watching him. That's all. Notes: I thought "Tasting" was a stand alone ficlet, but my ChrisMuse threatened to break my neck if I didn't let her talk her version of the facts! If you look closely you'll find sentences I used on my previous story. Oh yes, it also belongs to my "Five Senses" little universe, just like "Watching" and "Tasting" - wait for another three ficlets soon (well, not so soon...) Nerina named and edited this ficlet - thanks, sweetie!! If you hadn't helped me I'd still be calling it my untitled baby. Anne was another special beta of this fic, even after it was posted - thank you too, sweetie! To Lucinda, my dear Portuguese girl - you know why, darling!

So there you are, watching this bitch blow me. Nice change, huh, Toby? I didn't expect you, though. Why aren't you at Sister Pete's office? Were you looking for me? Huh-huh, I don't think so, there's something in your eyes telling me you weren't expecting to find me here. Anyway, I don't give a damn, you can stay and watch the show, it's for free. Just for you, baby.

This guy has a great mouth, probably has lots of practice - you should give him a try. But he's not like you. I miss your mouth, Toby. The taste of your lips... do you remember our first kiss? I was drunk, but I remember that moment perfectly. You had an open expression, a little shy but brave at same time. I didn't move, I couldn't move, you had to come to me, you had to want to be touched, to be kissed, to be held... or Vern's plan wouldn't have worked at all.

And then there were tenderness, affection, love, lust... it didn't last, it wasn't enough, just a brief moment, and then we were separated too soon. In the hole, I had enough time to think about it over and over again, to relive your taste on my lips, your waist in my hands, your hands on my shoulders. I always liked the feeling of another body crushed under mine but yours... just the memory of that kiss, something about you, raises goose-bumps all over my skin. And I kept recalling it all the time I was locked there.

Yeah, this bitch knows his job. Don't look so hurt, Toby, it's mainly a physical thing. You should know that, you've been fooling around with those guys and everybody saw it, even your good friend Said. I'm sure he gave you a lecture about damnation and hell, huh? Let me tell you a secret, he knows nothing about it. Hell is watching you, listening to you, smelling you and not being able to taste or touch you. Hell is understanding you're so near and yet so far away. Hell is not having you, Toby.

Wow... Cramer really knows how to use his tongue. You had to learn it too or wouldn't survive in Vern's hands, but by my side you learned to appreciate it, didn't you? Licking me everywhere first time we fucked was a proof of that, you were so eager to taste me then, so eager to use your mouth on me...

You used your mouth on my ears.

You used your mouth on my neck.

You used your mouth on my armpits.

You used your mouth on my tat.

You used your mouth on my nipples.

You used your mouth on my navel.

You used your mouth on my dick.

Baby, I can live a thousand years but remembering that night will always make me hard. Harder than I am now inside this fag's mouth.

Ain't that funny? Cramer's on his knees, doing his best to make me forget about you; he's probably thinking I'm so hard because of his talented mouth, and I can just picture you swallowing me, so soft, so warm, so wet, making me come, making me want to scream, making me feel sated, making me feel complete...

That's it - you complete me, Toby, you're part of me now, it's a shame you didn't understand that. I'd never kidnap your kids, I'd never hurt you again - it'd be like hurting my own flesh. But it's not easy to believe in me, huh? I've a rep of being a liar, a manipulative bastard, a mindfucker, you couldn't believe my love for you is the purest and strongest feeling I've had in my life.

Bitch is increasing pace, that's good, that's perfect, I almost stop thinking of you, but it'll never happen. You're in my thoughts all the time, Toby, and you're here, watching me and Cramer. Maybe I won't kill him, he can use his tongue again on me later. Would you like to see me killing him, Toby? Everybody always warned you about me, you would see they were right. I'm a killer, I use people for my self-justified purposes, I do what I have to. Didn't they tell you that? Yeah, they were right.

Are you still here? Geez Toby, you're really fucked up. One can suppose you get off watching me being blown. But you still have this hurt look, the same one I had while watching you and late Mondo Browne. Now you know how I felt then, don't you?

Cramer lets me go and smiles to me. Bitch doesn't have the slightest idea of what's really going on here. Are you going to kill him, Toby? Would you do that for me, babe? There's anger in your eyes while I caress his neck. Sorry, I couldn't help myself, I had to push you a little. I know you're remembering every single time I did it to you. I'm curious to see if CrazyBeecher will be back after this.

What is that, Toby? Are those tears in your eyes? Hum, Cramer wants to kiss now. A perfect ending for a perfect blow job. But I bet you'll be gone when it ends. So predictable, that's my Toby. My Toby. You'd better remember that. I'd better remember that too. God, I miss you, baby.

~~~~~~~THE END~~~~~~

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