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Completed: Feb 23, 2003
Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine, yadda yadda. But they're fun to pose!
(Original Post on TSXF): Under penalty of endless nagging, I am posting this on behalf of my lunch mates today- Mav, Actizera and Dargie. So I've torn myself away from "Fluffers Inc." and am doing my duty. This explores what might have progressed if Mama
O'Reily hadn't interrupted our boys backstage (damn her). I wrote it in a couple hours, and it hasn't been beta'd, so it's a tad rough (ahem. and a tad rough). Call it short but not-so-sweet.
I'm positive Mav could've come up with a much better title, but this was all I could think of on the spot. ;->
As always, enjoy or send raspberries.


by pirl

"All I really want if for you to love me again."

Chris' lips did little to soothe the painful sting of where the tape had been ripped from a moment ago. Toby couldn't help but kiss back as Chris's mouth and tongue were on him so forcefully, so invading. Chris was devouring him, as if he was trying to suck Toby's soul from his lips. His body began to respond to Chris straddling him, remembering how it used to feel being kissed this way, and the blood began to rush straight to his dick. He was being fueled on with the way Chris was moving, slowly and very pointedly rocking his hips into Toby's groin.

All of a sudden Toby's stomach lurched, his mouth flooded with bitterness. His body was betraying him just as Chris had betrayed him. Limp arms that had been lying useless at Toby's sides pushed up onto the solid chest in front of him. In one violent movement Toby stood, pushing Chris off of him and causing him to stumble back, barely able to keep his balance.

Toby couldn't speak; he was only capable of breathing as fast as his heart was pounding in his chest. The words of reason screaming in his head couldn't find their way past his abused and swollen lips. The warm ache in his pants was also screaming at him, in stark contrast to what his mind was telling him. Chris, on the other hand, could only hear the blood rushing through his ears as he quickly closed the distance between them and kissed Toby hard once again.

A noise, a tiny whimper, escaped Toby when Chris' hand grabbed his hip, his fingers violently digging into his all-too-thin frame and pulling him tight to his own body. He could feel Chris through his pants, already hard, and prodding his own swelling dick. He couldn't breathe. Toby's face was pressed so hard into Chris' he couldn't catch his breath, and Chris wasn't allowing it as his hand gripped tight the back of Toby's neck, holding him there.

The voice was still screaming in Toby's head. He was going to kill you! He betrayed you! He had to stop this. Swinging his hand up as hard as he could, Toby caught the corner Chris' mouth with the side of his hand.

Stunning Chris momentarily, he backed off. Finding his voice again Toby's words dripped with venom. "Fuck you."

Chris just smiled. Toby's blow had been hard enough to break the skin on his lip. Flicking our his tongue, he tasted the blood it found there, savoring it for a moment before he brought his hand to his mouth and wiped it with the back of his hand. "That was the point."

"You cocksucker."

"Been known to."

Toby's brow furrowed. "You killed Winthrop."

"All for you Toby. That motherfucker had to die."

"You set me up. You-"

Chris cut him off. "You wouldn't've come back all those times unless you wanted to be back."

He shook his head, unable to comprehend Chris' reasoning. "You actually fucking think that? I just got my son back you cunt!"

Chris leveled his gaze. "You love me."

Toby's next words were slow and deliberate. "I hate you." It hung heavy in the air. If it had affected Chris in any way, he wasn't showing it. He just stood there, barely out of arms reach, eyefucking Toby and daring him to back up his statement.

The adrenaline was still surging in Toby's body from believing just moments ago that Chris was actually going to kill him. Something snapped inside of him, and the next thing he knew he was throwing his body onto Chris'. He pushed him back, kissing him, biting him, tasting the blood on his lips, until Chris stumbled into the throne. Falling back slightly, catching himself on the footstool, Chris looked up and saw rage and desire darkening those pale blue eyes of Toby's. It thrilled him at the same time it ran a knife straight through his heart.

Toby grabbed at Chris' pants, pulling at his waist so he was standing again. But before Chris could dive in for another brutal kiss, Toby's fingers had already made do with the fastenings on his pants and he was unceremoniously twisted around and pressed over the footstool into the seat of the chair. Blunt fingers tore his pants down, careless of his swollen erection, baring his ass. Chris heard the zipper behind him, Toby spitting twice, and a second later, the delicious pain as Toby shoved all of himself inside him at once. Chris couldn't suppress the cry that escaped his throat as he felt himself being split in two.

Toby grunted with every thrust, his face twisting up with all the hate he had in him. He wanted to pound all his pain into Chris, to punish him for all that he had done. Toby felt power and adrenaline rush through him, burning in his lungs, in his veins, on his skin. He wanted to hurt him, he wanted Chris to suffer. He wanted him to feel the heartache of losing his family yet again. He wanted him too feel his humiliation, to show him what it was like to be this used and damaged. He wanted him to feel his life leaving him and know there was nothing he could do about it. He drove into him over and over, hoping that it hurt like hell, hoping that he'd understand, hoping that he'd forgive-

Toby's mind exploded, as if a single piercing scream pushed out and drowned every other voice in it. He looked down, aware for the first time of his hand that was around Chris' neck, trying to squeeze the life out of him while the other was pressing his face down into the red velvet of the chair. He let go, jerking his hands off Chris as if they were burned. The fear that he had killed him lasted only as long as it took for Chris to turn his head to the side and gasp in a breath. He coughed once and his voice cracked. "Don't stop. Fuck me... fuck me like you love me Toby. Do it... do it!"

His chest burned. He needed release. Toby wasn't capable of thinking anymore, he just needed to end this, to finish, to come. He rocked slowly at first but soon enough began slamming again and again into Chris. Only a couple thrusts after Chris came into his own hand, Toby felt his release flood into Chris. He felt as if it was coming from his chest, pulling everything out of him all at once, leaving him hollow and filled with an oppressing emptiness. He would swear under oath that his heart actually stopped beating while he came into Chris.

His chest heaving, Toby fell forward onto Chris' back. His mouth was open in a silent sob, his lips tasting the salty sweat just below Chris' neck. Was Chris right? Is this why he had come back all those times? All that time spent in Chris' cell on death row, all that time together and yet so far apart, it was all Toby could think of. He had wanted Chris. He sought that love he once knew. He wanted just a taste of what had believed not so long ago. But it was a waste- it was all a fucking waste. He should have never come back. He should have never trusted Chris. He should have never loved him, because he now knew all to clearly that it was never love he got back from Chris- it was possession. Chris owned him, and yet again, he had gotten what he wanted from Toby.

When he could manage again, Toby pushed himself off Chris and pulled up his pants, not bothering to wipe himself off. He stared at Chris still lying over the chair, the skin on his neck bearing an angry red welt where Toby's hand had been. He stepped away as Chris bent slowly to pull his own pants up, a slight hiss escaping his lips as he straightened.

Finally lifting his head, Chris looked the other man in the eyes, and Toby saw the unshed tears in eyes that matched his own. His voice cracked, evidence of the abuse his throat just took. "Feel better?"

Toby's eyes narrowed, shame flooding him. "Go to hell."

"Already been." His smirk only lasted a second before hushed out his plea. "Tell me you still love me."

Toby's mouth dropped slightly in disbelief. "Stay the fuck away from me, Keller." Turning to leave, Chris called after him.

"You're no better than me, Toby. You an' me, we're the same."

Turning back, Toby stopped only a hairs breath away from Chris. His voice shook with his threat. "You come near me again and I'll kill you. I swear to God."

Chris responded with only a smile.

--The End --

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