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Dedicated to H, for inspiring me on this chapter.
A Smile That Introduces (The Smile Series, Part 11)
Set after Season 6 of Oz, and current through Season 8 of SVU, after the episode "Burned" but before "Loophole."
"Oh, you should have seen them, Tobias."
"Elizabeth...Jesus, she's getting so grown up. She looked like a little woman in that dress she was wearing. And Dickie! I wish I could have gone with him to pick out his suit. My grandfather went with me before my Confirmation, and it made me feel really important, y'know? Ah, he's probably too cool to be hanging out with his old man in a suit store anyway..."
He realized he was rambling when Tobias looked over at him and grinned.
"You look so happy when you're talking about your kids," Tobias said, taking his hand off the steering wheel for a moment to put it on Elliot's knee.
He smiled self-consciously. "You'll get to have that today, Tobias."
Tobias merely nodded and kept his eyes on the road.
"Are we making good time?" Elliot asked.
"After the Hutchinson River Parkway, it's Route 15 North into New Haven. We're halfway there."
"You excited to see Holly and Harry?"
"Apprehensive," he admitted. "I'm a little nervous."
Elliot tugged at one of Tobias's curls. "You'll do fine, bud."
"It's been a long time, Ell."
"All the daddy stuff will come back to you, don't worry. That never goes away. You'll always be their father."
"I hope so," Tobias sighed.
The worried look on Tobias's face made him hope that all his reassuring was for nothing and that the visit with Tobias's mother, Holly, and Harrison would go smoothly. It had taken him some time after Christmas to convince Tobias to call his mother and ask to see the kids. When he finally gave in to Elliot's constant haranguing, Tobias's hands physically shook when he dialed the phone.
"Did I tell you the Confirmation name Dickie chose?" he asked, trying to distract Tobias from his thoughts.
The other man smiled. "No, but you're going to."
"Is my gushing that obvious?"
"Like Niagara Falls," Tobias laughed.
"Well, tough, you're stuck hearing it anyway."
"Because I can't hurl myself out of the car if I'm driving, now can I?"
"Har har. So you remember I saw the kids the day after Christmas?"
"Well, Dickie noticed my St. Michael medal and asked me about it."
Tobias grinned. "And you answered that your ridiculously well-dressed, ex-lawyer, co-habitating boyfriend gave it to you?"
The other man laughed. "I'm teasing you, Ell. I remember the whole 'when the time is right I'll tell them' discussion."
Elliot sighed deeply, his guilt rising again. "You're not my dirty little secret, Tobias. It's just..."
Tobias held up his hand. "It's okay, Ell. We talked about this. You need to do that stuff in your own way with your family." He reached over to brush Elliot's cheek. "Now tell me about Dickie."
There was still this unspoken...tension between them regarding the fact that Elliot had yet to tell his family about what was going on with Tobias. It wasn't like the kids or Kathy would just drop in unannounced -- he hoped -- but the fact that he still hadn't told them was nagging on his conscience.
"Well...when I saw him he asked about the medal, and I explained who St. Michael was and why I chose to wear it. I guess he was impressed, because he decided on Michael for his Confirmation name."
"He's handsome, that Dickie. Like his father."
Elliot smiled softly, his anxiety momentarily forgotten. "As long as he doesn't run wild the way his father did, I'm good."
They were quiet for a few moments as Tobias concentrated on maneuvering around some slow-moving vehicles on the highway. Elliot glanced out the window at the trees blurring by.
"He looked nice in his suit," Tobias finally said.
"Kathy was supposed to send me photos...I told her not to bother with e-mail. I can't figure out how to save the damn things. Did she send 'em like that anyway?"
"I saw him."
"What do you mean?"
Tobias turned his head. "I was in the back of the church."
"You were there?"
"No one saw me, don't worry."
Elliot winced inwardly. "That's not what I meant, bud."
"I couldn't miss something that important to you, Elliot. Their Confirmation -- it's a big moment in the twins' lives, and yours. I wanted to be there for you, even if you didn't know it."
"I-I appreciate that, Tobias. You have no idea how much."
"I think I do," he answered with a smile, turning his attention back to the road.
Elliot nodded and stared out the window again, trying to hide the tears threatening to streak down his cheeks.
* * *
The remainder of the drive was spent in silence until they came to the exit leading to New Haven.
"What?" Elliot asked, turning his head. "Did we miss the exit?"
"No, I..." He took a deep breath. "I'm scared."
"Everything. I haven't seen Holly is a while -- God, Harrison was six when I was paroled the first time and I got to visit with him. Those three weeks weren't much. Then they throw my ass inside again and almost three more years go by, and on the day I walked out he was too scared even to look at me. How's he going to remember me after all that? I don't expect him to. I'm going to be a complete stranger to my own kids."
"Tobias, you need to take this one step at a time. You've only been out for a year."
"A year and three months, Ell."
"You need to have patience in dealing with them. True, they haven't seen you in a while, but I'm sure when you spend the afternoon together that awkwardness will go away. Kids are resilient. They can surprise you."
Tobias glanced over and met Elliot's eyes. "That's the cop talking."
"Maybe," Elliot agreed. "I've seen a lot of tough little kids."
"They're going to ask where I've been."
"You mean why you haven't visited until now?"
"Tell them the truth. You've been following the rules of your parole, you were limited to where you could travel, and you were trying to get your life back on track."
"It sounds easy when you say it like that," Tobias said. "I feel guilty as hell that I haven't been to see them."
"You're going to have to get over that."
"What else is there?"
"It's been bothering me ever since I got out. I don't want them to be embarrassed of their own father. I don't...I don't want them to hate me, Ell."
"They won't hate you," Elliot said, rubbing Tobias's knee. "How could they?"
He sighed. "I can think of nine years of reasons."
* * *
The mid-morning sun was peeking above the tops of the trees by the time Tobias turned the car onto a long, winding road that led deep into a rich neighborhood.
"Nice," Elliot said, looking at the large stone mansions that lined the block.
"You don't miss where you grew up?"
"I prefer Queens," Tobias answered with a smirk.
"The pool houses here are the size of my place in Queens."
Elliot grinned at how that made him feel. "I suppose...you did hijack another closet."
"I need to look good for the job!" Tobias protested, laughing. "You try wearing prison clothes for nine years and see if you don't come out wanting to dress well."
"You need to stop buying clothes like a woman."
"And you need to get a sense of style like a gay man."
Elliot made a face and Tobias purposely licked his bottom lip seductively.
"Just because you give great blowjobs doesn't mean you can start hanging up shoe organizers on the back of the closet door," Elliot pointed out.
"So when I fuck you does that mean I can put up shelves?"
The other man laughed as he turned onto yet another tree-lined street. "I can't wait to see what I'll have to do for new curtains..."
* * *
The engine of the Mercedes purred to a halt, but Tobias remained sitting, his hands clenched on the steering wheel.
"Take a deep breath," Elliot suggested.
"I feel like I'm going to vomit."
Elliot cocked his head to look up through the windshield. "I don't think your mother would appreciate puke on her carpets. This place looks like a museum."
"First impressions can be deceiving," Tobias muttered.
Elliot reached for his hand. "They want to see you, bud."
Tobias turned his head and sighed. "I'm glad you're with me."
"Me too -- although I guess I'll have a lot of time to kill while you're visiting. Maybe I'll take a drive or something..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well...you didn't...you didn't expect me to come inside, did you?"
Tobias scoffed. "Of course I did, Elliot. I didn't bring you all the way up here to have you sit in the damn car."
With that, Tobias opened the driver's side door and got out. Elliot took a deep breath and followed suit.
"Besides," Tobias said as they walked up the immense driveway, "I need something to distract my mother."
"Yeah," Tobias nodded, grinning. "Turn on the charm, detective. This is going to be a bumpy ride."
* * *
An impeccably dressed maid greeted them at the door and immediately took their coats. The solid oak door closed behind them with a soft thunk, and Elliot fought the urge to turn around and see if the lock had been thrown as well. He was out of his element, putting him on edge.
The house was immense and tastefully decorated -- from what Elliot could see from the foyer -- and obviously a point of pride in the Beecher family. A large marble table stood in the center of the foyer, a floral arrangement taking up most of its width. Straight ahead was the living room and a study, to the right was the dining room, and the stairs just to his left led to the bedrooms. The furniture was all leather, the dark brown color accentuating the warm wood paneling of the living room. The floors were a deep, rich mahogany-colored wood, covered here and there with what Elliot was sure were oriental rugs. Framed art adorned the walls, and antiques -- from vases to a sculpture of a charging stallion -- were placed unobtrusively throughout the house.
Elliot took in the sight and immediately felt himself switch into cop mode to deal with it. He had been in many impressive homes, townhouses, and brownstones in his years on the job, and this one could be added to the hundreds of elegant dwellings he had stepped foot in.
Of course, none of those other places were owned by his boyfriend's mother.
He swallowed nervously and Tobias tugged on the edge of his suit jacket.
"I'd like to take this moment to remind you that all this was your idea," he whispered.
"I'm not armed," Elliot whispered back. "I hope we make it out alive."
The two men were grinning at each other when the lady of the house entered the foyer, followed closely by the maid.
Elliot immediately felt Tobias tense when his mother walked up to greet him.
"Oh Toby, it's so good to see you, dear."
"You too, Mother."
She went up and hugged him, her petite, dark-haired frame almost swallowed by Tobias's strong arms.
She cupped his cheek as they separated. "You're looking well."
"Thank you, Mother."
She grinned at him and then acknowledged Elliot. "And who have you brought with you?"
Tobias took him by the elbow as way of introduction. "This is Elliot, Mother."
Elliot smiled politely and nodded at her. "Elliot Stabler, ma'am."
"Oh, the detective who sent me the letter about you, Toby." She shook Elliot's hand. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, detective."
"Thank you, ma'am."
Mrs. Beecher turned from him and reached for Tobias's hand.
"Toby, dear, you must have been driving for hours. Let's sit down and have a drink, shall we? Martinis?"
Elliot flinched at the look that crossed Tobias's face.
"Mother, you know I'm a recovering alcoholic."
"Right, right, how insensitive of me," she tittered, waving her hand. "I've forgotten how you can't hold your liquor. I'll have Eugenia bring us something else." She gestured for the two men to sit on the sofa while she sat down on the loveseat. "Coffee or tea?"
"Mother," Tobias said stiffly, "if you'll pardon me, but I'm rather anxious to see the children."
She nodded. "Yes, it's been so long, hasn't it, Toby? That should certainly be your first concern. Why don't you wait here and I'll prepare them for your visit, hmm?"
She smiled at them both and rose from the sofa.
Tobias let out a shuddery breath as she left the room and dropped his head into his hands. "Oh God."
Elliot looked at him with concern. "It's okay, bud."
"Why does she have to 'prepare' them, Ell?"
"She probably just wants to make them comfortable with the situation," he said softly. He reached for Tobias, but thought better of it and drew his hand back. "You need to take this slow."
"All I want to do is hold them," Tobias mumbled from behind his fingers. He looked up suddenly. "Do you think they'll let me hug them?"
"You have to go by what they feel comfortable with, Tobias. Don't push."
Tobias nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm trying. Maybe I can hold Holly's hand if she'll let me..."
Their conversation was interrupted by the sight of a slender, blonde-haired girl descending the staircase.
"Jesus," Tobias gasped. "Look at how much she grew..."
Holly paused as she reached the bottom step and locked eyes with Tobias, then with Elliot. She frowned slightly in Elliot's direction, but continued into the living room.
Tobias stood when Holly walked up, tension radiating across his body. Elliot could see he was shaking. She was tall, needing only to incline her head a little to look into Tobias's eyes. She stepped close into Tobias's personal space and took hold of his pinky finger.
"Hi, Holly, baby."
She threw her arms around him, burying her face against his chest. Tobias kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her.
When they finally pulled apart Tobias had tears streaking his face.
"What're you crying for?" she asked.
"Nothing," he mumbled, brushing her hair from her forehead. "I missed you so much."
"I knew about the stipulations of your parole," she pointed out. "It wasn't your fault."
He smiled and kissed her. "I'm sorry anyway."
"It's okay, Dad."
"Since when does a 13-year-old know about parole rules?"
"Duh, Dad, I'll be 15 in, like, nine months. And there's that thing called Google, y'know."
Tobias blinked. "I...right, of course I knew you were almost 15. God, you're growing so fast."
"You missed a lot of it."
"I know, honey, I know. But it's going to be different this time."
She looked over at Elliot. "Who's this?"
"That's my friend, Elliot," he answered, gesturing for Elliot to come closer.
He had been awkwardly trying to stand out of the way, debating about whether or not to return to the car during the reunion. He was torn between wanting to offer his support and allowing Tobias private time with Holly, so he was grateful when she acknowledged him.
He smiled and held out his hand. "Good to meet you, Holly. I've heard a lot about you."
"Thank you," she said formally. "It's good to meet you as well."
Then Mrs. Beecher could be seen on the staircase, ushering a little boy down the steps in front of her, her hand on his shoulder.
Tobias went wide-eyed at the sight of little Harry, nine years old and as tall as his grandmother. Elliot noticed that he had hair that was almost as long as Tobias's, except Harry's was a dark brown, similar in color to photos he had seen of Genevieve.
He stood sullenly next to his grandmother, and she prodded him to walk into the living room. He wouldn't look up at Tobias.
"Say hello to your father, dear."
"Hello," he mumbled.
Tobias crouched down and tried to get Harry to look at him. "Hey, Harry," he said softly.
At that the boy looked up at Tobias. "It's Harrison."
"Okay," Tobias answered, glancing nervously at Elliot. "Harrison."
"Toby, why don't you and the children go into your father's study and spend some time together while the detective and I have some coffee."
"You don't really have to bother Mrs. Bee--"
"Oh, no trouble at all, detective. We can have a nice chat while Toby gets re-acquainted with the children."
Holly took her father's hand and led him into Harrison Beecher's study, her brother following a few steps behind, and closed the door behind them.
Elliot turned to Mrs. Beecher. "Really, ma'am, you don't have to trouble yourself with coffee. I can just wait in the car..."
"Not at all, detective," she said, her false smile painfully obvious to Elliot. "That's what I have maids for, of course. I'd like to have a discussion with you."
"Please. I insist."
Elliot nodded. "Of course."
The kitchen was bigger than his living room. Stainless steel appliances made it clear that the kitchen was state of the art, even if Mrs. Beecher had a team of cooks to do the work of preparing meals. Mrs. Beecher pointed to an elegantly tiled bistro table beneath a large bay window that looked out onto the back acreage of the property. Elliot sat, nerves on edge.
"Do I understand correctly that you are a detective and not a parole officer?"
He swallowed. "Yes, that's correct."
She waved for the maid, who walked to the table carrying a tray laden with cups and a pot of coffee. The woman placed the tray down and automatically began pouring for Mrs. Beecher.
"How do you take your coffee detective?"
"Light, two sugars, thank you."
She stared at him over the edge of her coffee cup. "I must say that I'm a little confused over your attention to my son."
"You're not his parole officer, as you've stated. You were the one who wrote that odd letter over Christmas requesting I send a photo -- to a Queens address, as I recall, Detective Stabler."
"That's right. I thought it would make a nice incentive for him to continue healing."
"Mm-hmm. I was under the impression that Toby was staying at the halfway house on Rivington Street in some sort of self-imposed martyrdom over what he did to this family."
He blinked at her, completely surprised by the change in her tone. "He, uh, requested to move out since he was attending meetings as scheduled, had found a job, and was really making changes in his life."
"Well that will remain to be seen, won't it?" she said haughtily.
"He's doing really well."
"So you mentioned in the letter, detective. I find it interesting that you've taken such a vested interest in my son's rehabilitation."
"Everyone deserves a second chance," he said, nervously rubbing his thumb over the lip of the coffee cup.
"My son had one, and then he chose to violate his parole."
He looked up at her, her cold eyes meeting his. "I know that."
"I'm sure he also mentioned that he was thrown back into that -- hellhole -- because he was out buying drugs?"
"As I understand it, Tobias believed..."
"The particulars of his re-arrest don't matter, detective. The point is he chose to do something that was wrong, again, in complete disregard for his family and those who cared about him."
"I'm sure Tobias has made some bad choices..."
"My husband paid for all of Toby's bad choices with his life."
Elliot frowned, confused. "Tobias said his father was...had passed."
"His father was murdered by the animals in prison who would have never come into contact with this family had it not been for my son," she hissed. "After Gary's death this family mourned together. After my husband was killed I could barely look Toby in the eye."
He carefully covered the look of shock that had crossed his face. Tobias still needed to take his time to explain certain things, and his father's death was obviously a painful one. Elliot didn't fault him for not telling him, but it was awkward hearing it from Harrison Beecher's widow.
"I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am."
"As am I, Detective Stabler. It took me time to decide whether Toby should see the children. You, however, seem to think there is some redeeming value to my son's life."
He tried not to let his anger over her words show. "I do, Mrs. Beecher. He's come a long way, putting his life back together. He's working, and following the rules of his parole."
"Apparently he's been able to impress the Department of Corrections."
"I highly doubt they would discharge someone so soon into an unsupervised environment."
He swallowed nervously again, the coffee in his cup completely ignored. "No, I suppose not."
"Quite right." She sipped daintily from her cup again. "So then tell me, detective, how you've come to know my son's case when you're not his parole officer, and how Toby is suddenly a resident of somewhere in Queens."
"Hmm. Shall I assume you're Toby's 'friend' the way Chris Keller was Toby's 'friend'?"
Elliot turned away from her searching glare and tried to focus on the cold, caramel-colored liquid in his cup. His heart was pounding in response to her bold -- and rude -- question. If she were anyone else he probably would have snapped back in her face, and made a point of defending his choices and decisions regarding his relationship to Tobias. Probably. Ironically the first thought that crossed his mind was what he would do when inevitably it was Kathy or the kids or the rest of the squad asking the question. Would he be brave enough to admit honestly that he was in love with another man? Did he have the balls to tell the rest of the world to go fuck themselves because for the first time in a long time he was actually happy?
His life had changed so dramatically since Tobias had entered into it; of that there was no doubt. At his age and after all the shit between he and Kathy, and the way he had dragged his feet over the divorce -- fuck, he deserved to be sure about one thing in his life. He was in love with Tobias, and nothing was going to change that. There was sure to be difficulties ahead of him, especially when it came time to tell the rest of the squad. And the kids were going to be shocked, and maybe worse. He shuddered at that contemplation -- he hoped he had raised his children well enough to respect people's differences and similarities despite their own opinions.
He could handle the teasing and joking that was sure to come among the men he worked with, but his kids...
No, he wasn't going to think about it. He had as much control over what they thought as anyone else did telling him whom to love.
And that was simple.
Mrs. Beecher was staring at him now almost accusingly.
Fuck her, he thought. Fuck her and anyone else who can't accept the way I love.
"Actually, Mrs. Beecher..."
"Grandmother!" yelled Harrison, barreling through the kitchen door.
She turned to the boy without a backward glance at Elliot. "Yes, love? What's the matter?"
"I'd like to go to classes now, Grandmother."
"I'm sure your hunt seat classes can wait until next week, dear."
"But I've finally gotten Rockingham's bascule perfect when we hit the third vertical! You should see him, Grandmother -- he's like a leaping fish!"
"Honestly, Harrison, your father is here. You can see your horse next Saturday."
"But I don't even know that man," he said coldly.
"Your dad just wants to spend a little time with you, Harrison," Elliot interjected quietly.
"Well I don't want to spend any time with him," Harrison replied.
"He missed you."
He glared at Elliot, then turned to his grandmother and lowered his voice. "I don't think this man should be talking to me like that, Grandmother."
"It's okay, dear," she said, patting him on the shoulder.
"Don't make me go back in there with him. Please," he said, looking up at her for support.
"I won't force you to do anything you'd rather not. Go on upstairs and get your things."
"Thank you, Grandmother."
The boy turned and crossed the large kitchen, turning his head before the kitchen door closed to shoot Elliot a dirty look.
Elliot scowled. "Tobias just needs a little more time to get reacquainted with Harrison, Mrs. Beecher. A few more minutes wouldn't have hurt. And he barely spent any time at all with Holly."
"Thank you for your concern, detective, but I assure you that I am more than capable of handling the decisions of this household regarding Harrison's upbringing, as I have for the past nine years. If he doesn't want to spend time with Toby, I can't force him. He's old enough to decide."
"He's only nine."
She pursed her lips in annoyance. "I need to call for the driver. If you require anything else, please tell Eugenia now, as she's going off duty in a few minutes."
The maid curtsied respectfully when her name was mentioned and looked up expectantly.
"No, I'm fine," he answered coldly.
Mrs. Beecher waved her hand and Eugenia disappeared up the back stairs.
"I assume you can let yourself out."
With that she left the kitchen.
* * *
Elliot found him curled up in his father's huge leather chair in the study. When he walked in and closed the door, Tobias turned his face away.
He sat down at Tobias's feet and wrapped his arms around Tobias's calves. He rested a cheek on the other man's knee.
"I'm here," he whispered.
Tobias looked down at him, his eyes red and swollen. "He hates me, Dahúil."
"He doesn't hate you, bud. He just doesn't know you."
"I know. He made that perfectly clear."
"Tobias, he needs to have his father in his life."
Tobias wiped at his eyes and sighed. "He doesn't need me. He's perfectly happy and has everything a boy could ever want."
"Is that how you felt at his age? I remember you telling me that just because you came from a wealthy background didn't mean you had it easy growing up."
"I was spoiled and coddled, and I turned into an obnoxious, angry kid who dulled the pain of a privileged existence with booze."
He reached up and found Tobias's hand. "Then you're gonna have to make sure he doesn't carry on the family tradition."
"From the way he acted today..." Tobias pressed his head back against the soft leather of the chair. "Just getting to spend time with him is going to be a challenge."
"I know what kind of man you are, bud. I have faith in you."
Tobias smiled sadly. "You don't know my mother."
"I think the few minutes I just spent with her in the kitchen explained a lot."
"Why?" Tobias asked, leaning forward in the chair. "Did she say something? Goddammit, I know she and I haven't been on the best terms, but I swear to God, if she did something to make you feel..."
"It's okay, Tobias." He decided against telling him exactly what she said about Tobias's father. He didn't need to add to the pain today. "It's going to be difficult, but think of Holly."
"Didn't she look beautiful, Ell?" he smiled wistfully. "She has Gen's eyes."
"And she was happy to see you."
"Yeah. I guess."
"Then you owe it to her -- and to Harrison -- to spend time with them, no matter what your mother might think."
"Holly was telling me about how well she's been doing in school when my mother came in and called her away. She didn't tell me why -- she just said something about how they had a previous appointment or some shit. I didn't even get to kiss her goodbye."
"Harrison was upset and asked her to take him to his horse riding lessons," Elliot said by way of explanation.
"Christ," he cursed softly, a pained look crossing his face. He closed his eyes and shook his head, and when he looked down at Elliot tears were swimming again.
"A horse, Ell. He'd rather spend time with a fucking horse than me."
"He needs time."
"It's all about time, isn't it?" Tobias asked, tears streaking his face freely now. "Time spent, time wasted, time served. Time lost to mistakes and my fucked-up life."
Elliot got up on his knees and kissed Tobias gently on the lips. "I don't think it's so fucked up."
Tobias scoffed. "Didn't you see what happened here today?" he asked incredulously.
"At least you didn't puke on the carpet."
That got a smile out of Tobias and Elliot kissed him again.
"You're not that man anymore, bud. You're getting your life back on track. You've changed."
"You really believe that people like me can change?"
"Let me ask you something," Elliot said. "Do you think I'm a good cop?"
Tobias blinked. "Well, I know how dedicated you are to the job, how much you care, and how much what you do affects you, so -- yes."
"And do you really think I would have fallen in love with you if I thought you were just playing me? Don't you think I've seen enough cons and dirty scumbag motherfuckers to know when a man has changed?"
"Of course I do," Elliot smiled, kissing him again, this time letting his tongue linger. "I'm talented."
Tobias came away from the kiss with a moan. "You are, detective, especially when your lips are attached to mine."
Elliot sunk his hands into the leather on either side of Tobias's head and met the other man's lips again. He was pressing into Tobias's knees as he deepened the kiss, so Tobias spread his legs. When he did, Elliot slid his hand down Tobias's thigh and teased his fingers over Tobias's crotch. He felt the man under him twitch.
"Mmm, better," Elliot mumbled into Tobias's neck.
"There's no one here. Your mother said the maid had the rest of the afternoon off, and the door is closed."
"But what about..."
"She went along with the kids," Elliot said, answering the unasked question. "We're alone."
He rubbed his thumb over the seam in Tobias's trousers, and when Tobias gasped, Elliot met the other man's startled look with one of absolute desire.
"Let me taste you," Elliot whispered, licking his lips.
"No excuses this time, baby," he said, his voice low. He began caressing Tobias's hardening cock through his pants. "I want you."
"Yeah, here," he answered, licking Tobias's neck. "Besides...your mom is kind of a bitch."
Tobias huffed and made a husky noise in his throat that was a combination of a laugh and an erotic sound.
Elliot exhaled in excitement when he heard it, the blood rushing directly to his cock. He lifted his mouth from Tobias's neck and kissed him quickly on the lips, and then moved to his chin, then to his collarbone.
Tobias sighed and sunk into the chair, closing his eyes.
Elliot started unbuttoning Tobias's impeccably ironed shirt when Tobias looked down at him.
"I love you so fucking bad."
Elliot grinned and trailed his finger over Tobias's exposed chest. The man underneath shivered, and Elliot kissed his stomach. "I love you too -- now let me show you how much."
Tobias closed his eyes again when Elliot began unbuckling Tobias's belt. He did it slowly, tantalizingly, so that Tobias was panting and completely hard by the time Elliot lowered the zipper.
"Lift your hips up."
Tobias did so, and Elliot was able to pull down trousers and underwear in one motion.
He paused a moment, resting his chin against Tobias's thigh to simply look at him. He had seen Tobias naked and hard before of course, during the many times he and Tobias had their mutual jerk-off sessions. But even though it was wonderful, Elliot didn't feel like he was truly participating because of the fear Tobias had over the possible HIV infection. Tobias had only allowed Elliot to give him handjobs, and he initially thought it was Tobias's way of allowing Elliot to explore despite being a virgin to the whole homosexual sex thing.
He never imagined it was because Tobias was afraid he might have been infected, and was protecting Elliot. That morning in the kitchen he had wanted to do it -- he wanted to suck Tobias off right there -- but the other man made an excuse Elliot was comfortable enough believing.
Now things had changed again, and with Tobias living with him and disease-free, their sex life was undoubtedly going to be taking a new course.
It was a little frightening, but kneeling there between Tobias's thighs and seeing the other man hard and ready for him gave him such an incredible rush of pleasure and pride. This was the person he loved, and soon they were going to be able to share that love more intimately than Elliot could ever imagine.
First things first, however. He was going to have to learn how to give a decent blowjob.
He reached out with a hesitating fingertip and slid it around the crown of Tobias's cock.
Tobias gasped and almost fell out of the chair. "Ohhhhhhhhh God."
"I haven't even done anything yet."
"Believe me, Elliot, you have."
Tobias opened his eyes and looked down at Elliot kneeling between his legs. Elliot grinned, and flicked the underside of Tobias's cock with his tongue.
"Tease," Tobias hissed.
Elliot then brushed his lips over Tobias's balls, taking each one into his mouth and sucking the velvety skin. He lapped at them, swirling his tongue, and made Tobias moan loudly when he threaded his tongue in the space between his balls and licked there.
Growing bolder and more sure of himself now, Elliot began kissing the coarse hair at the base of Tobias's cock, steadily moving his mouth higher and higher. Panting heavily, Tobias reached down and touched Elliot's cheek.
Getting the hint, Elliot grinned to himself. He began circling the head of Tobias's dick, moving his tongue in a steady rhythm. Tobias moaned and whimpered, and then Elliot wrapped his mouth around the crown.
Tobias bucked, and Elliot felt Tobias twitch and throb in his mouth. With a few quick flicks of his tongue, Tobias was gripping the edges of the leather chair with whitened knuckles. When Elliot lightly used his teeth, Tobias gasped and thrust his hips.
Elliot released Tobias with a smack of his lips. "You like that?"
"Fuck, don't stop!"
Laughing again, he took Tobias back into his mouth and began alternately sucking and taking Tobias deeper. Gently running his teeth along the shaft every time he sucked at him, Elliot gripped the base of Tobias's cock and pushed him farther back into his throat.
When he hummed and made his vocal chords dance, Tobias moaned.
"Yessssssssssssss," he hissed, gripping the hair at the back of Elliot's head. "Oh God, just like that..."
Elliot sped up the pace, sucking harder and deep-throating Tobias in answer to the other man's rocking hips and moans.
He felt Tobias tense and begin to shake, but he wrapped his arms around Tobias's legs and held him tightly inside his mouth.
He held on even as Tobias came, the other man whimpering and crying out as he pumped his hips.
"Ohhhhh fuck, Ell," Tobias gasped, panting heavily. He sunk back into the leather chair and rubbed this thumb against Elliot's bottom lip.
"Guess I did good."
"Feel free to do good every night of the week if you'd like," Tobias sighed contentedly.
"I just might."
Tobias laughed and sat up so he could lean over to kiss Elliot. "What do you say we get the hell out of here and back where we belong?"
"Yeah. I have to work another 4-12 tomorrow."
"Ah, shit. Are you going to stay in the apartment in Manhattan?"
"Only if I'm too tired to drive back to Queens."
Tobias kissed Elliot's forehead. "Ell, I have to ask you something."
"Was this...was this because you signed the divorce papers?"
"You mean did I give you a blowjob because I agreed to dissolve my marriage?" he asked.
He nodded sheepishly.
Elliot scoffed. "Of course not, Tobias! Shit, I've wanted to do that for a while. Fuck the papers."
"I'm glad you've decided to move on."
Elliot reached down and lifted Tobias from the chair and gave him a hug. "I can't think of any better reason than you, bud."
"Was it hard to sign them?" Tobias asked from over his shoulder.
Elliot nuzzled the other man's neck. "Honestly? It was a little difficult, but I had you in my mind when I was signing. It was right."
They broke the hug and Tobias kissed Elliot deeply. "So are we, Ell."
Elliot smiled, and Tobias smacked him in the ass as they left the study. Crossing the foyer, they retrieved their coats and left the Beecher home, slamming the massive oak door behind them with a loud, satisfying clunk.
--End of Part 11--
February 5, 2007
To be continued, of course.
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